Here are my answers to this week’s questions from Pensitivity101
1. As a child, did you prefer to watch TV, play games outside on a nice day, or read?
When I was a child growing up in South Africa we knew nothing of television until I was already grown up.
I grew up in a safe seaside village where the beach was our playground and adventuring without adult supervision was perfectly normal.
On cold or rainy days, we played board games and card games. We loved listening to plays on the radio. Our favourite on a Friday night was “Squad Cars” It was about how the cops prowled the empty streets at night to keep us safe from criminals! Nowadays we have the radio on most of the day so that there is music playing in the background. There are no plays and very else interesting to listen to. I love, though, to listen to BBC 4’s Women’s Hour which I download as a podcast.
2. What would you rather do now, read a book, watch a movie at home, dine out with friends, or go down the pub?
I read at least three books per month. I enjoy Television (Netflix) in the evenings. We have friends around for dinner at least once per week. Here in South Africa, this will usually be a ‘braai’. But believe it or not, we have other culinary skills too and I love doing Roast Greek Lamb with all the trimmings.
3. Are you fashion-conscious?
I am a little but I am certainly not a slave to fashion. A lot of my clothes are over 10 years old. Grooming is more important to me than fashion. My clothes must fit properly and not be uncomfortable to wear. I like wearing dresses and skirts in summer. In winter I either wear skirts and dresses with tights and boots or jeans with button-down shirts or polo necks and jackets. I don’t like to look sloppy or untidy or to wear clothes that do not suit my shape. I also like to wear jewelry. I have a few pieces that include gold and diamonds but mainly I wear inexpensive fashion jewelry. My shoes must be comfortable. I have one pair of heels and they’re not that high!
4. Do you wear slippers, clogs or go barefoot indoors?
I wear the same shoes that I put on in the morning indoors and outdoors. If I get up at night, I usually nip to the bathroom barefoot.
Not really. It is something we can’t control so it’s best to just go with it and adapt. Obviously, I get irritated if I’m caught in the rain or there is mist when we’re travelling because that can be quite dangerous. But if it doesn’t interfere too much with my plans I just deal with what’s thrown at me.
I found that wind affected the kids in my class at school. They were way more hyper. Rainy weather made them restless too because they couldn’t go out to play.
If a stranger smiles at you or says ‘good morning’ when they pass you in the street, do you return it?
Always. But I’m probably the first one to greet or smile.
Smile: A Poem by Spike Milligan Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin. When he smiled I realized I’d passed it on to him. I thought about that smile, then I realized its worth. A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth. So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected. Let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!
If you had a choice of just one of these things to eat, what would it be and why? Chocolate, a sweet pastry, a plate of chips/fries (this is not a forever choice, just one instance).
Chocolate every time. The reason is that chocolate makes me feel happy. I consider it an essential food group for teachers too. Nothing improves stress like chocolate does.
If you could go back to when you were a specific age, what would that be? Why?
I can’t pick an age. If I could be younger now, that would be fine but I don’t want to go back to any particular era. I have arrived in the future and in many ways it is awesome. I had a wonderful childhood with a great deal of freedom. My teens weren’t great but they were okay – just glad that phase is over. My twenties were marginally better as I enjoyed college and teaching. But my life really took an awesome turn in my thirties when I married my current husband. Raising kids and grandkids, having a fulfilling career, good friends and enjoyable hobbies all made me happy. Now I have freedom, enough money to live on without going to work, a comfortable home, good health most of the time and technology. Going back would take all that away from me, so no when you’ve arrived in the future why would you want to go back to the past?
Gratitude: I’d happily have the cabin in the woods.
Isn’t it strange that a big house and lots of money etc does not mean you will be happy? However, as my brother always says, “I’d rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable.” I believe that it’s your attitude and how you treat people that make you happy.
I am quite smug about my health and grateful that I am seldom ill. But over the last month, things have gone a little pear-shaped. Mild COVID hit my hubby and me a few weeks ago. This week I landed up in the hospital for two days. I had Diverticulitis and did not respond to oral meds so had to go on a drip. I am grateful that I was close to a hospital as we are visiting our daughter in Plettenberg Bay and our other two daughters are visiting too so there was plenty of support for my hubby. I am back now and will stay with the kids until I feel well enough to travel back to Struisbaai.
SYW is now being hosted by Di at Pesitivity100 as my dear blogging friend Melanie has passed away. I never met Melanie but we communicated through our blogging and I felt that I knew her. I will really miss her blog posts. This week’s questions are all about friendship and I dedicate my answers to Melanie from Sparks from a Combustible Mind.
Do you consider friends an extension of your family?
I consider my good friends as part of my family and will always be there for them.
Would you confide in a friend more than you would a family member?
There are some family members that I would confide in and others that I would not. I have friends that I am very close to and trust totally so I would confide in them.
How long have you known your best friend?
My best friend and I met when we were seven years old. She has just turned 70 and I turn 70 in a couple of weeks’ time. Our friendship has stood the test of time and distance. I have other close friends who I love dearly but she is the one who I am closest to.
Do you believe distance has a negative effect on friendships?
It certainly can but it’s not necessarily so. If you are soulmates you will be friends for life. You might lose touch with friends who move a long way away but then you could also lose touch with someone who lives close by.
I have drifted from a number of friends since leaving school and college. However, some I have kept up with and we are still good friends.
My best friend and I are definitely soulmates. We met at school when we were seven years old. Her father was transferred to another city when we were eleven. In those days we couldn’t even telephone each other as you would have to book a trunk call and our parents did not encourage that! So we kept in touch with hand-written letters. Imagine that! I just wish we’d kept the letters but we didn’t. Of course, the letter-writing was quite erratic but we did manage to see each other for holidays. Through High School, we saw each other perhaps twice. We connected again when I went to college and she lived with her parents 120 km away and I spent the odd weekend with her. When she moved to Johannesburg and I went back to Cape Town, I thought we might never meet again. But after completing her degree through a distance learning university she came to the University of Cape Town to do her Teacher’s Diploma. It was like we’d never been apart and we picked up that friendship once again. I was married with a small baby but my marriage was falling apart and she was there for me when I got divorced. We even taught at the same school very briefly. I thought we would never be apart again. But it was not meant to be. She got married and her husband needed to be in Johannesburg so off she went again! Imagine my joy when a few years and two kids later they moved to Cape Town! We were once again inseparable. It didn’t last long. Three years later they emigrated to England and she’s been there ever since. Hooray for the internet! This has really made being apart so much easier. And we see each other fairly often. She has been back to SA several times and I have visited her over there too. I am so excited because she is coming over in December and will be spending some time with me!
The friendship that my BFF and I have has stood the test of time. and distance. So many times she has called me just as I’ve decided to call her. Before she even knew my mother had died, she got the urge to phone and she did. It wasn’t the first. We both seem to just know when the other is in need. Whether we are apart or together, on WhatsApp or in the flesh, we connect on a very special level. We are true soulmates!
Fandango has challenged us to re-blog a post that we did on this day in the past. I have taken up the challenge to post something I wrote on 4 November 2015. It was in response to a writing prompt:- “When you were a kid, did you want to have the same job or a different job than your parents when you grew up?”
Immediately “SHOES” came to mind. My father was a shoe man – he sold them as a travelling rep, then as a store manager until he opened his own stores in Fish Hoek where I grew up. My feet were always shod in the best quality shoes and were both stylish and good for young growth. He cared about feet and what was placed upon them.
“You have a healthy foot,” he told me, A good instep but they’re too broad across the toes and too narrow at the heel.”
This made it difficult for me to find a good fit, but luckily Dad made sure I always did right up to the time he closed his stores and retired. But I diverse. Did I want to follow a similar career? No, I didn’t – but Big Brother worked in one of the shops Dad managed and so did Little Sister – from very tender ages too! Neither of them went into retail but I’m sure the work experience made them wealthier than me who shunned the idea of touching the feet of all and sundry.
Not for me, thank you!
No, secretarial work sounded more attractive. Mom had been a legal secretary before marrying dad. She gave it all up to raise a family of four lively kids although she did work on and off when the need arose. The idea of dressing up in smart clothes and wearing high-heeled shoes while taking dictation seemed to me to be a very glamorous job when I was about 10 years old. And Dad encouraged it.
“It would be better than working in a shop,” he said. “Good secretarial skills are like gold. If you’re good you’ll be in high demand and will be able to command your salary. An academic matric is not good for girls. When you’re older you will send you to a school for secretaries!” He did too – but that’s another story!
I fancied myself as a smart, efficient secretary
Dad brought an ancient Typewriter home from his company’s office and Little Sister and I had hours of fun pretending to be secretaries. We banged away on its resistant keys, talked on a discarded broken telephone and busied ourselves writing out accounts.
But then in my teens, the “higher calling” ideas started to set in. I should do something worthy. Perhaps I could become a missionary, a nurse, or work in a home for orphaned children. I fancied myself as a saviour of the underdog.
Yes, I would be the Perfect Florence Nightingale, ministering to the sick and making a difference in their lives. So when I was seventeen, just before my final year of high school, Mom encouraged me to first try it out during the Christmas Holidays. And that is how I landed up working as a nurse’s aide at the local hospital. How I loved the white nurse’s uniform complete with a red cape. It made me feel very grown up and oh-so-worthy. But it was hard and dirty work. I learned to make a perfect hospital bed, to dust and clean the metal beds and side cabinets, and to empty bedpans!
Not very glamorous work
One of my patients was a young mother of three, terminally ill with cancer. The first time I held a bowl for her to vomit into, I almost vomited myself! I won’t even describe the things I had to do for her but the emotions I experienced were the worst. To me, the staff nurses seemed indifferent. Perhaps they had learned not to get emotionally involved and to maintain a professional barrier between themselves and their patients. I, on the other hand, ran immediately to answer the bell when the young mother rang. She complained bitterly about the nurses and if one of them did come to her she would ask for me and they were only too happy to let me deal with her as she could be ‘difficult’
“Well, wouldn’t you be if you were suffering like that?” I asked them but they shrugged their shoulders.
She was skeletal and her pallor was yellow but before visiting hour she’d call me to help her put on her makeup and brush what little hair she had.
“It doesn’t matter how ill or old you are,” she told me “You must always make an effort to look your best for your husband.”
I’d do my best to make sure she was fresh and presentable, prop her up on her pillows and stay and chat till her family arrived. Her hubby was always smiley and pleased to see her and the children were adorable – quiet and well-behaved bringing cards and pictures they had drawn for her.
My heart ached for them and for her as I knew she was going to die. The pastor from the Methodist Church visited her every day and told me that at first, she’d raged against God for what was happening to her but that now she was beginning to accept her fate.
I was not there when she died. It was in the middle of the night before I came on duty. The pastor greeted me the following morning and broke the news to me. He had been called to her bedside.
“She went peacefully, believing that Jesus had come for her,” he said.
I never saw her family again, but I still think about them and wonder how they dealt with their loss and whether her husband married again. I am pretty convinced that he did as he was still young and very good-looking! The strange thing is, I remember them all so well, what they looked like, what they were going through but I can’t remember their names.
Just over ten years later I, myself, met and married a widower with two young daughters. I believe that having had this experience in my teens helped me to understand what they had gone through losing a wife and mother to cancer.
But I also had a joyful experience while working at the hospital. I was going about my duties when the sister called me. “One of the mommies in the maternity section is about to give birth. Would you like to watch?”
Would I ? Oh yes, please!
I had no idea what to expect – I certainly did not expect the emotions that welled up inside me when that beautiful little boy popped into the world. I experienced a miracle and the tears flowed – tears of wonder, joy and excitement! It was a lady doctor who delivered the little boy and the mother was her daughter-in-law. She said she was delighted and honoured to be allowed to deliver her own grandchild. When she put the baby into her daughter-in-law’s arms, she said, “Ugh he’s so ugly.” And there I was blubbing and thinking he was the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen! But then I hadn’t been through the pain of childbirth! Now the strange thing here is, I remember all their names quite clearly!
So this is not how babies are delivered?
So after all that, did I become a nurse? Not a chance! I decided that all this worthy stuff was over-rated and that Teaching would be more appropriate to my skills. After all, I could still wear smart clothes and high heels and pour out my love to the youngsters I taught. Nursing had certainly been a life-changing experience and playing secretaries with my sister had been fun but school-school was always my favourite game.
This is what Fandango says, “Let’s have some fun this week. Or what I hope you’ll think is fun. My question is simple. It’s all about favorites. If you were asked to name your absolute favorite in each of the following categories, what would they be?”
Here are my answers:-
Song
Lady in Red by Christo Burgh is ‘Our Song’
Musical artist or group
I’m sorry to be boring but I am almost 70 and grew up with The Beatles, Elvis, Cliff Richard – so yes – they’re still my favourites.
Book
Oh my – what a question! I have so many favourites. But the one book that sticks in my mind, most people probably haven’t even heard of. It’s 84 Charring Cross Road by Helen Hamph
Author
You would think that one of my favourite books would be written by my favourite author but not so! My favourite author is Anne Tyler. I have read all her books and will continue to do so until she retires or dies.
Movie
This is a tough one. Everyone says the book is always better and usually that is true – but my favourite book and my favourite movie are the same – 84 Charringcross Road is also a movie and I loved watching it as much as I enjoyed the book. But you do need to read the book and its sequel, The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street, first.
Television show
Well – once again so many – Murder she Wrote, Magnum PI etc. But my absolute favourite of all time – Sex and the City. Just loved it because it was all about female friendship which I totally related to.
Movie or TV actor (male & female)
My favourite movie actors are – Julia Roberts and Richard Gere!
Stage play or musical
Jesus Christ Superstar was awesome.
Live concert
I haven’t attended many music concerts but I did see Chris de Burgh live and it was absolutely amazing.
Here are my answers to this week’s Share Your World from Pensitivity101
If you were a ghost, who would you haunt, and why?
I don’t think I would haunt anybody but I would try to be a spirit guide to my grandchildren.
If broomsticks were legitimate modes of transport, would you like one?
Oh yes most definitely. How awesome it would be to fly around with a black cat for company. It would fulfill the inner witch inside me.
Would you cook in a cauldron?
It is actually a very popular way for South Africans to cook outdoors. The food cooked in a cauldron or potjie is called potjiekos. (Cauldron food) The ingredients will include stewing meat, potatoes and a variety of vegetables. I enjoy eating from a potjie if someone else has done the cooking. South Africans love entertaining around an open fire, and are particularly fond of braaing (barbecuing). Having a potjie is just another wonderful way of entertaining around an open fire.
Have you ever had your fortune told?
Yes. I had my fortune told at a fair when I was about twelve years old. The only thing I remember the gypsy-like woman telling me is that I would one day write a book. I had no plans to do so until something happened that I thought would make a good story so this prediction did in fact come true. ‘A Judge Decided’ was published at the end of 2020. It is available in bookshops in South Africa and will one day be available as an ebook but I haven’t got that far yet.
Today’s gratitude: Who would you like to say thank you to?
Thank you to my family for being so totally awesome.
Yolandi’s life changes dramatically when she is told, “There is nothing more we can do for you. You have three months to live.” But she has two small daughters and she is not ready to leave them so she refuses to give up. With amazing support from her husband and family, she makes a decision and simply refuses to die. As you read this beautiful story, you get to know a young mother with unfailing faith, a grandmother who takes care of her and prays over her and refuses to be negative, and a father who throws himself into research to find cures that will ensure his children do not lose their mommy. It’s a story about miracles both medical and spiritual and about people who care and believe. You cannot fail to be moved by this amazing story.
How organised are you? Do you plan ahead, take things as they come, or does it depend on the circumstances?
When I was working and raising a family I was flexibly organised. There was a routine at home but if things disrupted this, I would just go with the flow. At work, I was ultra-organised and had lessons prepared well in advance and my marking was always up to date. You have to be organised when teaching small children otherwise there would be no way of handling the chaos that naturally reigns in a classroom!
Now in retirement, I don’t plan ahead too much. Some of our caravanning trips happen with just a day’s notice. I have my lists on the computer and that helps make sure that nothing is forgotten. If we plan a long trip then I usually do the bookings and organise the packing. The Earl plans the route and where we will stop over. He also has his list of things to pack. He is a man with a plan so should anything go wrong he has the tools to deal with it.
How many Christmas presents have you bought already?
I have not bought any Christmas presents yet. Now that our grandchildren are older we don’t do a huge present exchange on Christmas day. Our focus is on doing things together as a family. The ten of us all spend two to three weeks together at our middle daughter’s home, close to a beach in Plettenberg Bay. During our time together we go on one or two special outings instead of spending loads of money on gifts. On Christmas morning we have Secret Santa with each person only being allowed to spend up to R400 on a gift for a person whose name they drew out of a hat.
Do you prefer a family gathering for special occasions, or just you and your significant other?
We only celebrate milestone birthdays and anniversaries. My 70th is coming up and as the family can’t be together at that time of year we had an early celebration. My kids arranged a surprise weekend which was absolutely awesome. I blogged about it here
My Fabulous Family
How many words do you think your pet understands?
I don’t have a pet but the ones I had in the past certainly had an excellent understanding of the English language. I used to take my dog, Tammy running almost every day. She would be fast asleep in another part of the house and I would whisper to my husband, “I am going for a run” and that dog would be up and at my heels before I could get my running shoes on. She also reacted when I spelled the word out. I tried saying, “I’m going to put my takkies on,” but that got her running around barking in excitement. Other words that got her raring to go were beach and walk. She knew other words too, but the ones involving her going out for a run brought a very quick reaction. I would talk to that dog and I am quite sure she understood every word. She was very special.
Tammy was especially good with kids. This little visitor is teaching her to beg
No, I don’t believe we can know everything but some people know more than others. We tend to know more about things that really interest us while other stuff we might find terribly boring or not in the sphere of our mental ability. Of course, some people think they know everything.
Where were people before they were born?
Before I was born, I was a fetus growing into a human being in the womb. Before that I was a little part of Mom and a little part of Dad – I think?
Does the Law of Attraction exist? (Law of Attraction as I understand it) is a school of thought where positive thinking brings about good changes. Some say it’s made them wealthy. Others say it improves their health or their outlook on life)
I think it might. When I was a child I was pretty negative and thought the universe was against me. As I grew older I changed my attitude and although I still had to work at it, things started going well for me. Of course, bad things did happen but facing them with a positive attitude did help me deal with each situation better than I otherwise would have. Maybe it’s not the law of attraction but the way in which I look at life. I have been in situations where people have said, “But how on earth are you coping with this?” My answer has always been – This too will pass – and thankfully it always has.
Do we love ourselves more in the virtual world and less in the real world? If so, why? If nay, why?
I am assuming that the virtual world refers to social media and our presence on it. (I don’t go into any other virtual worlds with avatars etc) I feel the same about myself in both worlds. I share positive things both on and offline. I enjoy sharing my life experiences and love learning about and from others too.
GRATITUDE SECTION
Are you happy?
Yes, I believe I am happy. I choose to be happy. Sometimes things make me sad and if I can I try to do something about it but if I can’t I still choose to move on and get over it. I believe every emotion is important. We need to be angry, sad, jealous, frustrated, etc from time to time. It is all part of the human condition and spurs us into action. Being too happy can make one complacent and prevent one from taking action when necessary.
After a comfortable night in our luxurious suite, we were woken by Simon who has become an amazingly competent barista. The kitchen has an awesome coffee maker and the Illy beans are provided. Lauren and Allan joined us for our morning beverage and the cat came to visit too.
We all had the use of these luxurious robesKitty snuggled in contentedly
Breakfast was served at the bistro and we managed to get everyone there on time. Our hostess, Cathy along with the two chefs, John and Victor were super friendly and accommodating. Before we put in our egg order we were treated to fresh fruit salad with Greek or vanilla yogurt. We all had variations on scrambled eggs and the table was laden with croissants and pastries. Everybody raved about the fresh-pressed fruit juice too.
After breakfast, Simon and Allan went to fetch Shannon from Stellenbosch while Grandpa, Lauren, Josh, Lisa and I visited the Babylonstoren Gardens. Laurie and Jay decided to chill at the lodge.
It was a very warm day and as it is still school holidays there were lots of visitors around. My kids are all animal mad so when they saw the donkeys they headed straight over to pet them.
Fortunately, most of the paths were shady and all the routes were beautiful. It was amazing to see so many different varieties of clivia. The clivia walk was by far the best.
A Cape Canary cooling off in the streamStill a little boy at heart – Josh had to climb a treeResting in the shadeA wonderful experienceBabylonstoren now ticked off Lauren’s Bucket ListThe Cape White-eye enjoying the garden too
Allan really had every minute of my day organised. His attention to detail was amazing. After the garden visit, we went to La Bri for wine and chocolate tasting.
Entering La BriOur awesome sommelier – Julian
My wine of choice is sauvignon blanc so I left my comfort zone and instead choose to taste red. The menu had an interesting selection of red wines with chocolate pairings. And it was awesome. Our amazing sommelier knew her stuff and it was just such a wonderful experience to hear what she had to say and to enjoy the combination of tastes.
We also ordered a cheese and biltong platter for the table which was meant for two but was plenty for the five of us.
Lollz also chose the wine/chocolate pairing
On our way back to the lodge Shan, Si and I hopped off to explore the market. The rest of the family joined us half an hour later and we all went to the Huguenot Chocolate Shop.
Franschoek is famous for its marketAt the Chocolate Shop – It was beyond awesome (Yes we bought our lots)But love is good tooThis is so true
Franschoek is where the refugee Huguenots settled in the Seventeenth Century. Jay and Joshua’s dad told them that there are Huguenots in their ancestry so we had to take a photo.
The fun was not over yet. We all set off to Chamonix for dinner at their restaurant Arkeste.
The Restaurant overlooks the forestView from our table
This was really the cherry on top of my surprise. The service at this restaurant is amazing and the chef came to chat to us too.
You can see how blown away I amThe starter – a selection of sushi delights
The chef explained all the specials to us and Allan and Earl chose the lamb which measured up to their high expectations.
My main was Duck – What a treat!Allan and sister-in-law LisaAllan and sister-in-law Laurie
The chef pre-warned me not to order dessert as he had something special for me.
I got all four desserts in mini-portions! They were all delicious but the milk tart ice cream was the best.Lisa really loves her dessertTaste mine, Mom.
It was just the most awesome evening with excellent wine, wonderful food and all my favourite people around me. Who could ask for a better birthday celebration?
The Moon shone upon us too
Sunday 9 October 2022
Finally, the weekend was over. Once again we were treated to a wonderful breakfast before we left. Today’s breakfast was poached eggs on a mushroom with smoked ham and a hollandaise sauce drizzled on top. It was to die for.
Happy Family enjoying breakfastAll ten of us – Lisa, Lauren, Simon, Josh, Shannon, Allan, Laurie, Me, Earl, Jay
I feel so privileged that my son-in-law orchestrated this whole weekend for me. I enjoyed every second of it and I am blown away by the excellent organization and especially the love that went into it all. Thank you to all my family but most especially to Allan. I love you all so much.
Adventuring into Retirement 
