Category Archives: Uncategorized

Cruising with Costa – Salalah, Oman

Monday, 25 March, 2019 Salalah

Our tour only left at 13:15.  We had to get landing cards before we left the ship.  We were with other English speakers on Bus 17 with tour leader, Mohamed.  He was awesome and gave us interesting information.

It is a dry, arid land but very wealthy because of their oil and natural gas resources.  The Sultan made huge changes in the country in 1970 when he came into power.  Women have equal rights with men and work hard at school and college and in fact are more likely to get the good jobs than the men!

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Camels are wealth in Oman and all the camels we saw roaming were owned by somebody. None were wild.

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Water comes from underground and 97%  is free from contamination.  All residents have access to water.  91% have instant access to piped water, meaning only 9% have to wait for water to arrive in tankers. The water in the Wadi Dayqah dam is of a high enough quality to satisfy irrigation requirements as well as domestic water supply after treatment.

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Typical Beach

We visited the geysers at Mughsayl Beach and we were thrilled that they cooperated and shot out streams of water several times as we watched.

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Some people got quite wet.

We were also taken to see the alleged site of Job’s burial site.  In Oman it is know as the Tomb of the Prophet Ayoub.  It is in the hills overlooking the city of Salalah.

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We had to remove our shoes to enter this holy place.

Oman is home to the Boswella Scara tree.  And it is from the dried sap of this tree that Frankincense is made.  In bygone times it was more valuable than gold and was one of the gifts brought to The Baby Jesus by The Three Wise Men.

We were taken to a market where many Frankincense products were on sale – but I resisted the temptation to buy anything.

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Cruising with Costa – Crossing the Equator

Friday, March 22, 2019

After breakfast this morning we went to the pool deck as today was the day we crossed the equator.  I did a dance session with the animation team and then four groups had their faces painted in the colours of the four elements – Earth, Water, Fire and Sky.

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We had to gather on the balcony under our flags and when Neptune appeared he did a whole thing and called for us to yell when he called our elements.   Then he welcomed us and said we may cross his territory.

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Neptune and his mermaid arriving to see who was in his territory

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Neptune calling the names of the four elements

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The elements lining the balcony

We all lined up and were baptized by the God of The Sea!   It was great fun.

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Being baptized by Neptune

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Neptune’s mermaids

Cruising with Costa – Seychelles

Cruising guarantees that you will meet people.   Of course you can keep to yourself if you want to – book a luxury state room, make sure you have a balcony, get a butler service and you can avoid the people!  But as far as I’m concerned that would be no fun!  We met some really awesome people on our trip and they certainly contributed to success and fun of the trip.

On our last day in Mauritius we visited the Pampalmoesse Botanical Gardens.  At the end of our guided tour we spent time on our own bird watching.  A man with a camera in hand approached us and asked what we could see.  We showed him the night heron and other birds and then got into conversation.  Turned out that although Tom is British he visits Kruger National Park regularly, loves bird watching and photography so we had a great deal in common.  Then as I said we needed to go and meet our ride to the Port Louis he asked – Are you on The Costa Victoria?  Indeed we were and so was he!   Our first cruise friend.

One is assigned an early or late dinner sitting and one always has the same the table.  Costa tries to make sure you are with people who speak your language.  On our first night – early sitting – we found ourselves with three other South African!   Of course we bonded immediately.   Neil and Doreen were from Port Edward and Val who was widowed and travelling alone was from Amanzimtoti.

We found out later that there were 23 South Africans on board and I think we met nearly every one of them!  While in the pool on Day 2 I heard the familiar accent and introduced myself. Soon another swimmer also hearing the accent came over and joined the chat.   We kept bumping into Hippo and Pat after that.

In the hot tub I got to practice my limited Italian with a lady my age that I met there.  It was a stilted conversation but we managed and had a good laugh together.

Before long I had met a number of different people – a Mauritian on my morning walk, a Dane on the stern deck when I shared her table while sipping coffee, an American couple, Sue and Tod in the pool and the list goes on.  I was chatting about some of my encounters at dinner one evening and Doreen said – How do you meet all these people?  I hadn’t thought of this before but I realise that the Earl and I collect people.  We aren’t too shy to start a conversation with anybody who happens to be on the same bus, in a queue, the pool or wherever we find ourselves.   And with cruising this makes the trip so much more interesting.  You also start to understand different cultures and realise that your country is not the only one with problems!  There were many different nationalities on board – French speakers making up the majority.   I wish I had learned more French words because few of them spoke English.   The Scandinavians all spoke English as did the Dutch.   Most Germans did but not all. Because so many people do learn English as a second language, English speakers expect everyone to speak their language but it’s not so.  It’s a good idea to learn a second or third language if you intend to travel a lot.

On the ship the staff were amazing.  They all spoke at least three languages and understood the basics of others.

So yes – we found most of the people on the ship friendly and interesting to talk to.   There were those who were rude – but if we encountered that we shrugged and moved on.

But enough waffle about the ship – my next few posts will be concentrating on the highlights of the places we visited.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019 Seychelles

Today we went to Beau Vallon Beach with a tour organized by Costa.   It took us though Port Victoria and along a scenic route which was awesome.  We had some photo opportunities.  At the Beau Vallone we had the use of the hotel pool and a voucher for a drink each.   I swam in the sea as well as the pool – Earl swam in the pool.   I also took a walk down the entire length of this stunning beach.

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First view of Seychelles through the port hole

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Photo stop

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Beau Vallon Beach

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The Pool

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Further down the beach

Thursday, March 21, 2019 Seychelles

We did not go on another tour of the island but instead took a walk to the mall with Val. Earl and Val went to the bank to exchange money. While they were busy I noticed a hair salon so inquired as to how much it would cost to cut my hair – only 150 Seychelles Rupees and they could take me immediately.  A young apprentice started on the cut with instructions from a lovely young male stylist.  He finished off the cut and I was totally satisfied with the results.

We then went to supermarket to get a few essentials. Our need for the internet was great so we had tea at the café in the supermarket and caught up with emails etc.  Suddenly Val said – Oh my son wants to know if Earl and Helen Fenwick are on the cruise!
“Yes” – she replied – “they’re right here with me!”  Turns out he is a friend of Tommy  who is baby sitting our car!  What were the chances that of the 2000 people on the ship we would be seated at the same dinner table as Val.

The theme this evening was to be Tropical so we went to the market on the wharf to shop for appropriate clothing.   Earl bought a stunning floral shirt in black and blue and I bought a wrap around skirt which I wore with a red t-shirt.

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Earl in tropical shirt

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On the Deck 11 Back Deck – in our tropical gear – Me, Pat, Hippo, Doreen, Val

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Hair blowing in the moonlight!

 

 

Share Your World 29 April 2019

Here are my answers to this week’s share your world from Sparks

If you could interview anyone from your life living or dead, but not a celebrity, who would it be and why?   

I would like to interview my maternal grandmother because although she told me lots of stories about life in the early 20th century, I would love to know what she thinks of the 21st.

As a child, did you have a nickname?  Did you carry that with you throughout life or was it only in childhood that you used it?

I had plenty of nicknames. Some were hurtful but I was taught – Sticks and Stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.  That was the way life was in the sixties and you just dealt with it.  No point crying to Mommy or Teacher.  One such name was Fatty Boom-cracker – by family members no less – they thought it was very funny.  But it didn’t go on for too long although snide remarks about my weight were often made.  I don’t think anybody meant to be nasty – but I would not encourage my own kids to give nasty nicknames.  I also had a long unpronounceable Greek surname.   Perfect for kids of the sixties to make fun of.  My siblings and I used just laugh along with them.   Our name sounded like – Penny-for-a-cart horse.   In the ninth grade a smart-ass boy converted it to automatic cart horse which of course was very funny.   I was also called Helen, Helen Watermelon.   At College I was simply called Penny and that lasted all three years there.  I didn’t mind that one! Actually none of them did any harm – all character building which I think might be lacking in the over-protected world of today.

Give us three words that describe you:

Enthusiastic, Positive, Kind

Sneaking into a second movie at the theater (if you go to a movie house)?  Is that wrong or just harmless ‘fun’?

Well if you’re a kid it’s just harmless fun.  But for adults – no way!  Pay up!

If you had a time machine would you go back to the past or forward into the future?  Why?

Definitely to the future.  I believe I am already on a journey to the future – and have reached some stations already and I love them.  Imagine what’s coming up – the most awesome technology.   I hope I make it to some more of those future stations.


Keep Calm and Cruise with Costa

I have been absent from the Blogosphere for several weeks as I have been cruising and the internet is super expensive when you’re at sea. I began the story of our adventure here

We are not seasoned cruisers but a long cruise was on our bucket list and it was a toss up which cruise line to choose.  Costa won because of its interesting itinerary starting at Port Louis, Mauritius and ending in Venice, Italy.  Along the way we would stop in at Seychelles, Oman, Israel, Jordan, Cyprus, Crete. Santorini, Olympia, Corfu and Croatia.   I will not bore my readers with all the details of every stop but would like to share with you the highlights of cruising.

The Costa Victoria is a 14-deck ship with 964 cabins. It takes between 1928 and 2314 passengers and has a crew of 820.   We were on  deck 4 in a cabin with a porthole and sea view.    It was spacious and comfortable and we called it home for the 28 days!

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Now some people on the ship informed us that the accommodation was not up to the standard of other cruise lines.  This might be true but then Costa is not that expensive and as we are used to sleeping in a caravan we found the cabin totally luxurious!

The Costa Victoria is small compared to some other ships.  She is also old having being built in 1996.  She has had a refurbish but we loved the old style.   A week after disembarking from this lovely old lady we went on another cruise and found the modern ship too glitzy, too big and too noisy – but more about that in a future post.

Cruises ships are notorious for being disorganised about embarking.  At first it looked that way when we arrived at Port Louis but in fact we waited no more than 20 minutes before being processed and getting on board!

If you decide to do a cruise be prepared for queues, pushing and rude people.   That is the downside – but on the whole most people were well-behaved!  This might be because on this particular cruise most of the passengers were over 60.   There were a few young families but not more that 12 children aged between 2 and 15.

Everybody tells you about the food on cruise ships and Costa Victoria certainly is up there with the best where catering is concerned.  The meals were awesome.   In spite of this I heard a number of people complaining and I wonder what they were used to.  No we were not served Lobster or Caviar but at the formal restaurants you had an amazing choice and if you so desired could order 6 courses!   The waiters were awesome and we were waited on attentively by a very gentle mannered Talekar.   We were surprised when on the last night of the cruise he danced with each of the ladies at our table!

Each evening there was a dress code – either casual, gala, red and back, black and white, Arabian, Italian etc.   Most people joined in the fun but it was not compulsory.

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Our waiter dressed up for Italian Night

 

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The Earl scrubs up well for Gala Night

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A delicious farewell dessert on Italian Night

One could also choose to dine at the buffet on Deck 11.  It offered a variety of choice and was a more casual option of dining.   We used the buffet at lunch time and for most breakfasts.   All the food was well prepared and very tasty – and there was plenty of it.   However, we were somewhat shocked to see how wasteful some passengers were. They would pile their plates and then leave half of it in spite of the many signs that suggested – taste don’t waste!

Every day there were delicious treats on offer for morning and afternoon tea too.   There is no way one could go hungry on a cruise such as this.

Life on board was awesome. During the first half of the cruise it was summer and we spent a great deal of time around the pool.  It was here that many of organised activities took place too.  Every morning (unless it was a shore day) our cruise director, Daniela, lead a health walk.  Daniela has a huge personality and made the walks so much fun.  As we walked around the deck doing our arm exercises at the same time she would have a brief word with passengers lounging in the sun – always in their own language – she could speak 5!   There were pool aerobic classes, stretch classes and dance classes too. Then of course there were the deck games which were fun to participate in and to watch.

Throughout the day on sea days and shore days there were activities you could join.  There were craft classes, cultural quizzes, Bingo etc.  There was a spa and a gym on board but the latter was very small.  I didn’t bother to use it as I preferred to go to the pool exercise classes and to do the walking deck circuit.

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Aerobics Class – me on extreme right

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Health Walk with Daniela

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Arm Exercises

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Daniela was the pied piper!

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The evening entertainment was fantastic.  Each evening there were two shows – one for those who had an early dinner seating and one for those who dined later.   There were acrobatic shows, song and dance shows, magic shows and all by highly talented people.  We were hugely impressed.

There were also places where one could go to dance from quiet bars to noisy discos.   Our favourite was the Concorde Bar.

At every port there were a number of excursions (to your own account) that you could go on.   They were expensive but well worth it.   If you go with a ship organised tour you are guaranteed that the ship won’t sail without you.  But it is also perfectly possible to arrange your own shore excursions.  We opted to do the organised ones but chose the cheapest on offer!

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Costa Victoria tied up at Port Victoria, Seychelles

Cruising is certainly a relaxing way of having a holiday.  Once you have settled in there is no fuss about packing up and moving on to the next place.   All meals and entertainment are included in the very reasonable cruise price.  There are optional extras but you never need to use cash or your credit card. Instead you are given a cruise card and this is linked to your credit car or you can place a cash deposit against it.   Any outstanding costs are paid at the end of the cruise.   Drinks are extra – except breakfast juice, tea and coffee.  There is also water on tap – you need to fill your water bottle from a glass to prevent contamination. Drinks packages are available and are well worth taking.  We had Pranzo and Cena which gave you a glass of wine or beer with lunch or dinner but for ten euros a day extra we upgraded to Brindiamo which gave you limitless drinks including tea and good coffee so long as the drink did not cost more that nine euros.   It covered our wine, beer, gin and tonics, soft drinks, cappuccinos etc.

Staff are very friendly and attentive on Costa Victoria but perhaps there are just not enough in attendance at the various bars and pool deck.  However, this did not worry us – so what if you have to wait a while to receive your order – you’re on holiday and there’s no rush to do anything.

Hopefully I’ve given enough of an introduction to cruising here.  Feel free to ask questions in the comments – I will do my best to answer.

More about our adventure in posts to follow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Exploring Mauritius

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Good Morning Mauritius

After enjoying another delightful breakfast while admiring the fabulous view across the yacht basin we met our guide, Afzal and set off on an amazing adventure.

First we stopped to photograph the Pieter Both peak that has the shape of a head perched precariously on top of it.  Legend has it that a Milkman took a short cut along the mountain path, felt tired and stopped to rest. He fell asleep and when he awoke saw and heard a group of fairies singing and dancing.  They warned him not to tell anybody but he could not stop himself from spreading the story.  The fairies found out that he’d broken his word so turned him to stone.  His head swelled and is now at the top of the mountain!.

While we were taking photographs we saw dozens of Mauritian flying foxes soaring near the top of the peak.

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Our guide then took us to a place where they build model sailing ships.  The Earl found this fascinating and was tempted to buy one – but common sense won – where on earth would we put it.  There were many souvenirs for tourists to buy including a carving of a Dodo – which made its extinct sound when you blew it – We resisted the temptation to get that too!

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One of the boat builders working on the rigging

Our guide also took us to a cashmere outlet – cashmere products are big here in Mauritius.   After the first one he wanted to take us to another but I said, “Please don’t take us to any more shops – we are getting rid of our worldly goods – not collecting more.  We spend our money on experiences – not stuff!”  He got the message and that was the end of the shopping spree!

We stopped a few times to see amazing views and then visited the Grand Bassin Temple on the banks of Ganga Talao, a crater lake in the district of Savanne.  First we stopped to see some monkeys on the side of the road. I asked Afzal  if they were a nuisance in Mauritius and he replied that they were not.   They are tolerated at the temples as are cats.

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Ganga Talao was discovered in 1887 by a Pundit  He poured water from the Ganga River into the lake and declared that it would be sacred. Nobody is allowed to fish in this lake.

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The tallest statue of Duoga in the world

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Another tall statue – Shiva

The temple was really beautiful and the lake stunning.   The resident cats do not know the no fishing rule and tried their luck with their paws.

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This cutie found a hiding place when she spotted us

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All the cats were very pretty

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Trying to catch the fish

As we were driving along the road to our next destination Afzal pulled over to the side of the road, hopped out the car and picked some fruit from the trees growing on the verge.

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Afzal picking fruit

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It was Japanese Guava Season!

Our next stop was Chamerel Waterfall and the Seven Coloured Earth

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The highest waterfall in Mauritius

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The sands of the seven colour earth were formed from the decomposition of volcanic rock into clay and then soil. The different shades of colour are believed to be a consequence of the molten volcanic rock cooling down at different external temperatures,  but the causes of their consistent spontaneous separation are yet to be explained.

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The fascinating seven colour earth

About thirty five years ago Earl fished in a marlin competition at Black River Beach and wanted to go and see what it was like now so that was our last port of call.   The hotel at which he stayed is no longer there but he walked on the beach and we went to see the slave memorial garden which had some fascinating sculptures telling the story of the slaves.

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We arrived back at Azure Beach Hotel at 3:45 and after a brief rest went to beach for a refreshing swim.

In the evening we met up with Joan and Garrick.  Joan and I knew each other from Fish Hoek and we also attended Grahamstown Training College in the seventies!  She has been teaching in China for 15 years but recently relocated to Mauritus.  Thanks Joan and Garrick for an awesome evening – it was a great catch up!

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Snorkelling in Mauritius

14 March 2019

It was a long day of travel yesterday so we did not book any excursions for today.   But when we woke up refreshed and ready for action we changed our minds, but it was too late to book anything for today.

After a breakfast of fresh orange juice, fruit and yogurt, cheese omelette, croissant and coffee we made our way to an ATM to get some Mauritian rupees.

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View from the breakfast room

We then walked along the beach with the intention of returning later if the swimming looked good.  The boats are amazing, just loosely anchored to the beach without fear of coming loose and drifting out to sea!   I spotted a local man on his glass bottomed boat and asked, “Do you take people out snorkelling?”

“Yes,” he replied. “But today I have a group and I’m full.  But,” he continued pointing to the boat, Tam Tam, next to his, “I will phone Sanjeev – he might be able to help you.”   And he did! So an hour later Sanjeev collected just the two of us at the jetty near our hotel.

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Tam Tam anchored on the beach

Now I’m not a boat kind of girl but I do like to be in the sea.  And I love being on a coral reef watching those darling little fish swimming around.  So I’m prepared to risk life and limb and endure the rocking just to be able to do that!   The sea was a tad choppy but the weather was glorious.  It was lovely to see all the activity on the water – couples having fun on peddle boats, sailing, a bit of water skiing and para-sailing.  I really want to para-sail but The Earl’s nerves can’t take it. He flatly refuses to let me do it!   In order to save him the stress, I’ve decided not to – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

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A typical Mauritian Beach

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This is the boat of the chap who organised Sanjeev for us.  He had a boat load of Dutch tourists.

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View from the boat toward some of the beachfront  hotels

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The Earl said his anchor is just like this one!

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The Earl never happier than when he is on a boat – any boat!

When we got to the reef I donned my new alien type mask – it covers your whole face and you just breathe – no snorkel in the mouth.  You can talk while it’s on too!  Earl has dickie ears so he never puts his head in the water.

Sanjeev instructed me to stay near the boat, which side to stick to and warned me not to swim beyond a certain point.

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Me in the deep blue sea – well actually it’s quite shallow on the reef – but it’s far from shore!

So off I went and was instantly in heaven!   I don’t have a waterproof camera so couldn’t take photies but in any case they wouldn’t do justice to what I saw.   Most of them were black and white stripy ones but among them were others of the most amazing hues.    When I looked up, I found myself way too

far away from the boat.  I swam back toward it and breathlessly apologized for wandering too far only to be told – “Oh no, we moved the boat as we were right on the reef and we wanted you to be able to see more!”   Panic over – but I was really out of breath from the long swim so Sanjeev gave me a noodle which made me feel  more secure!  I spent a lovely hour enjoying the fish and the coral and then it was time to go back.

The Earl was able to see the fish through the glass bottom of the boat and also by looking over the side. The sea was crystal clear. Before we returned to shore, Sanjeev gave us chunks of bread and said – Just hold it and see what happens.   Well -a frenzy of fish came and nibbled it straight from our fingers!   It was awesome.

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The Earl tried to get photos from the boat while I was snorkelling

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This one is not half bad

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I got to see more colourful ones than these.

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Feeding frenzy

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Fascinating to watch

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Just up The Earl’s street

Sanjeev did not take us back to the jetty but dropped us at the beach instead.   We decided to say there for a while and I went into the sea for a few swims before we went to Sunset Cafe for a drink.

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The Mauritians tell us this is Winter! Ha – the air temperature is 30 degrees C and the sea not much colder!

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It’s okay – but more fun on the reef

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That was great but now I’m thirsty!

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A smoothie for me and a beer for him

We returned to the hotel for an afternoon nap and then went out for a walk to explore the waterfront.

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A story book temple

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A local fisherman using an an interesting pole

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Various craft enjoying the bay

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 One of the stunning beaches

A big thrill for me was seeing some local Mauritian birds – similar to our red bishops. I think it’s called The Red Fody Bird.

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A highlight for The Earl was watching the  fishermen bring in their catch, clean them and display them for sale at an open air market.

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It was thirsty work so we dropped into a local bar/restaurant for their Happy Hour Special.

You can’t visit a tropical island without having a Pina Colada

Later in the evening we went to Sunset Cafe for dinner.  We ordered a smoked marlin salad and a four seasons pizza and shared them. Both were totally awesome – but the marlin salad was the best.

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The view at night

 

 

Hooray for SAA!

After such a hectic 2018 I thought it would be a good idea to stay put for the next six months but my husband had other ideas. He decided that a cruise would be fun so without telling me he did some research and came up with a Costa cruise from Mauritius to Venice.

At the beginning of February, while shopping in Bredasdorp, he parked outside Harvey Travel.

“What are we doing here?” I asked.

“Oh just checking out one or two things,” he said.

Well an hour later with the help of Riaan and Therina and in spite of my doubts that we’d never get Visas sorted out in time, a  trip was put together.  After a few tweaks, everything was booked and we could go ahead and apply for our Schengen Visas.  As luck would have it, we managed to get an appointment at Capago in Cape Town on 12 February, the same day that we had to attend my friend, Heather’s, 80th birthday lunch. Within 8 days they were done and couriered to us via Postnet!
Our itinerary includes three days in Mauritius before boarding the Costa Victoria. The cruise takes us to the Seychelles, Oman, Eilat Israel, Jordan, Cypress, Crete, Santorini, Olympia, Corfu, Dubrovnik, Split and ends in Venice. The cruise is 28 days. We will spend three days in Venice and three days in Rome. Then we will take another 7 day Mediterranean cruise starting at Civitavecchia and calling at Cannes, Palma de Mallorca, Barcelona, Ajaccio, Genoa, La Spezia and ending back at Civitavecchia. We fly home on 25 April.

So today the adventure began. We left Struisbaai in pouring rain on Monday morning and spent the next two days before departure staying with our kids in Plumstead and catching up with friends and family.  My brother organised a transfer to the airport which saved Lisa having to get up at a ridiculously rude hour to drop us before having to fight the traffic back to work.   From the time of the pick up at 4:15 am with an awesome driver to the drop off at our hotel in Mauritius this afternoon at 17:30 Mauritian time – two hours ahead of SA, we had the best service from all concerned.

We had checked in online and when we got to the bag drop there was a short queue – but that did not stop SAA from taking us to the Prestige Desk and getting us sorted in the briefest of times.  I reminded the checker that our travel agent had requested wheel chair assistance for The Earl.   But it was not on the system.  No Problem – she sorted it within minutes and a wheelchair with a charming carer arrived.  Using the assisted travel option has changed the way we travel forever – it takes the stress out of having to walk miles at a fast pace, finding the correct gate and getting through bag check and customs without a meltdown.   My advice to all over seventies no matter how fit you think you are, is to travel with assistance – it’s awesome.   The flight attendants were amazing too.  They helped carry and stow our carry on bags and made absolutely sure that we had whatever we needed. Nothing was too much trouble.  We had two flights – Cape Town to Johannesburg and then Johannesburg to Mauritius.   There was very little time between flights and I don’t think we could have done it without help!  We received the same awesome treatment when landing in Mauritius too.   Everybody was welcoming and friendly and our transfer driver was very chatty and informative about where to go and what to see while we are here.  What a paradise this island is!   The trip from the airport to our hotel was 70 km and took over an hour but we enjoyed the tropical scenery.   It rained a little but all was clear when arrived at the hotel and it’s balmy to say the least!

Azure Beach Boutique Hotel in Grande Baie is really lovely.  It is not 5 star but clean and comfortable and there is a lovely view over a yacht basin.

This evening we had a delicious seafood salad for dinner.

We then took a walk around the area before returning to catch up on our sleep!

 

 

 

 

What does happy really mean

Sparks asked a question in Share Your World – Are you Happy – if so why if not why not.   The answers from those who played along were interesting and led her to ask another question

“What is the limbo gray area between ‘happy’ and ‘contented’?

I’ve been thinking a great deal about what happiness really is and whether it is possible  to be happy all the time.    The dictionary definition of happy is ‘feeling or showing pleasure or contentment and there are many synonyms for happy –  content, cheerful, joyful, carefree, untroubled and the list goes on!

The limbo, grey area is how you feel when you’re not exuberantly happy, ecstatic or so joyful you can’t contain yourself. Life is tough! You’re not going to feel on top of the world all the time!

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And don’t neglect the other emotions – sadness, anger, jealousy, empathy, repulsion –  all have their place.  You would not be a complete human being if you did not feel different emotions.   The thing is we all have different personalities.  A life coach once told me that there are three core emotions that define us – Joy, Sadness and Anger.   How you handle your emotions are affected by which of those is your dominant emotion.  If Joy is not your core emotion it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy and if it is, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be sad.   My core emotion is anger – and it helps me deal with stuff!   My anger helps me express how I feel and get it out – of course in a constructive way.  Sad core people find it hard to express anger and tend to go into a dark place.  They need to learn to let things go and not allow all the sadness in the world to make them unhappy.   They are probably the most caring people among us – they’re the ones who empathize and offer support to others even when they themselves are in the doldrums.  Sad people can feel happy but it’s harder for them.     We are all different and we just need to learn how to recognise and work with all our emotions.

I believe that nobody can make you happy but they certainly can make you unhappy.  If a child dies or you lose everything in an earthquake or fire – of course you’re going to be unhappy.  When my cousin was tragically  killed in an accident they wanted to sedate my aunt.  She refused, “I don’t want to numb my feelings – I want to feel sad for losing my boy!”  And she was right! Maybe some of us can’t get through trauma without sedation and that’s fine but they should be given the choice.   It’s not going to take away that feeling of loss – ever!  You don’t get over a trauma like that – you always feel it but you do learn to live with it. I am still sad about losing my parents, my aunts and uncles, cousins and friends.  And even years later I shed a few tears for them – that’s what we as humans do – we’re sad, we’re angry, we’re resentful – but we deal with it and move on with our lives – nursing those hurts but not letting them bring us down completely.  It is not compulsory to be happy all or even most of the time – some people have circumstances that make it impossible for them to be cheery, but they carry on and do the best that they can.

When I was a child I believed that it was because of people that I was unhappy – the other kids were mean to me, the teacher didn’t like me, if I lived in a nicer neighborhood things would be better.  My mother told me that if I kept crying and being miserable nobody would like me and one day it sank it and I worked on my joy.   It took a while and meeting my best friend forever certainly helped – but it was up to me to find joy in my life.

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So back to the question – I don’t believe there is one grey, limbo state to be in.  It changes all the time.  Life is a challenge.  We need each other to get through the bad times and to share the good.   It helps tremendously to have family and friends but there are plenty of happy single people making it on their own.  If mental illness is part of one’s problem it’s essential to surround oneself with people.  I so admire those who recognise that they need help and go and get it.  They drag themselves up and show up at places they don’t want to be because deep down they know it’s what they need.

I also believe that if one’s core emotion is sadness – make friends with somebody whose chirpy.   Surround yourself with cheerful people – you need them to help you find joy and they need you to empathize with them when they’re down.

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Those who are chirpy – don’t judge – be there for the anxious.  I promise they are not being anxious to annoy – they need uplifting.  Try to put things in perspective for them – but in the gentlest way and there’s nothing like laughter to lighten a situation.

I read this about Eeyore and it makes so much sense.  Here is a quote from the link

“Eeyore was often sad, he didn’t look on the bright side often, usually moved pretty slowly, and his dialogue in the book is almost always written, “said Eeyore, gloomily.” For many people, being diagnosed with depression sounds almost as bad as a death sentence. Because honestly, a lot of people in today’s society still view people with depression as broken or sick and that they need medication or to talk to someone. And maybe Eeyore did need all of those things. He could have very well benefited from medication or a counselor. But there was one thing that Eeyore had that many real people who suffer from depression don’t: The Hundred Acre Wood Gang.”

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In conclusion, when I say I am happy, I mean that in general I am. I’m an optimist and have a positive attitude.  Maybe I put my head in the sand because I don’t allow the chaos of the world to affect me.  I leave that to my hubby and he fills me in with how awful things are sometimes. This keeps me being a bit more realistic about the state of the world but once I’m over being depressed about it, I look on the bright side and point out the positives to my darling.  This stops him from falling into deep depths of despair because believe me in this country there is a lot to be worried about!   I’m not only talking about politics making us unhappy though – there is always stuff to deal with.  But one of us tends to let it get him down while the other looks on the bright side.  This is how we balance each other out and remain sane!

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