family-history | Adventuring into Retirement

Here is my contribution to this week’s Share Your Word from pensitivity101

1. Who is your oldest living relative (aunt, grandparent etc)?

I don’t have many relatives older than me. (I am 71) I have a ‘young’ aunt who is 83. She is actually an aunt-in-law having been married to my father’s brother. If you met my aunt you would not believe that she is in her eighties. She still looks fabulous.

2. How often do you visit them or is distance a factor?

I try to get to see her when I visit my home town which is four to six times a year. But I know that she is not waiting in anticipation for a visit from me!

3. Have any of your family lived to be 100?

I don’t know of any family member who has lived to be 100! My great-grandmother, I think, lived to be 98. My maternal grandparents died in their eighties. My parents died in their seventies. My paternal grandparents died in their fifties and sixties. One of my father’s brothers died in his eighties, the other three were in their seventies. On my mother’s side, one brother died in his eighties the other two siblings in their seventies. All in all, I guess longevity is not in my genes! I have even lost a few of the cousins with whom I grew up. But on the positive side, my siblings are well and don’t look as if they will expire anytime soon!

4. Would you like to celebrate your 100th birthday?

If I can maintain good health to 100 then yes, I would like to do something special on my hundredth birthday like celebrate in an exotic place like the Serengeti. My oldest grandchild will be 56, his brother 55. My granddaughter will be 50 and her brother 48. I am sure they could organise something! I just hope I can remember their names and that I wrote this post!

Gratitude:

I am grateful that I can joke about old age. For some, it is not funny!

What a great word Kim has given us for JusJoJan today.

My father often explained to me that you could choose your friends but not your family. Even if a family member upsets you, you’re still related, and unless you want to cause a feud you have to deal with the problem. This is of course not easy and in some cases, it is sometimes better to cut ties with a toxic member of your family. Luckily, in my case, I have never had to do that!

You certainly can’t choose the family that you are born into but later in your life, you may have to join another family too. You can choose your spouse but you can’t choose his/her family! Sometimes these relationships can be tricky. Then there might be divorce, and when there is, you might completely cut ties with the inlaws, or you might have formed such a close bond with them that you don’t!

My husband and I were both married to other people before. He was widowed and I was divorced. I kept in touch with my ex-family and The Earl kept in touch with his late wife’s family and of course I adopted them all, or rather they adopted me! I consider them all as family just as much as I do my own blood family.

The thing about family, is love them or hate them, the bonds are strong! It is very difficult to turn your back on somebody who has the same bloodline as you. Even an estranged brother would not hesitate to donate a kidney to a sibling – unless he was really cold-hearted!

Family resemblance is another thing that is fascinating. When I first saw a photograph of my brand new great nephew, I said, “You know what – I recognize this child!” I seldom see my great nieces and great nephews but when I do there is an instant connection. I don’t know if they feel it but I certainly do!

There is something in my side of the family that we must all have in common but I can’t see it. My daughter was identified as part of our family by a complete stranger who had never met her before. ”You look like them,” she was told!

Growing up I had a very close bond with all my first cousins. We drifted apart as adults but were always delighted to see each other at family gatherings – usually weddings or funerals! My siblings and I produced our first children within six months of each other and then their second and third were born close together too. So we were able to raise our kids together and what a close bond those children had with each other. For us as parents it was great to have the support of our siblings too. It certainly brought us closer together.