Tag Archives: Family

Stream Of Conciousness Saturday 28 December 2024

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I am participating in Stream of Consciousness for the first time in a while. The prompt is ‘My Year‘

2024 – A Year of Change

The post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

It can be long or short,one sentence or one thousand words, fact, fiction or poetry. Just let the words flow and stop when you’re done.

One thing is certain in life: Things will Change! No two years are ever the same. I have found this to be true throughout my life. Christmas as an adult was not the same as it was when I was a child. The way in which we have celebrated Christmas over the years has changed, too. It all depended on the age of the children/grandchildren and what had happened in everybody’s life during a particular life span. I tend to be one who goes with the flow and have welcomed and embraced the many phases that I have been through in life.

Looking back on my 2024 I realise that things have slowed down somewhat. We normally have a crazy year of travelling, visiting friends and family but this year has been different. Yes, of course, we have travelled but the pace has been so much slower. Ah yes, we are getting older! I am happy to say though, that we are in reasonable health. Neither hubby nor I have anything terminal! However, we have both made more trips to the doctor than in the past. I have had two attacks of diverticulitis this year, the most recent of which I am still recovering from. I also have some minor back issues but yoga is helping that. Hubby turned 80 in July so it is not surprising that he is slowing down a tad. Fortunately, he has no major medical issues but needs to take a few chronic medications.

It has also been a year of great change in the lives of our grandchildren. Grandson number two joined Youth with a Mission in Norway and has had some great adventures with them. Grandson number one has been living in Hungary for a year now and is doing well. Our granddaughter got married at Easter. Grandson number 3 had an amazing year at a post High School called Quest where he was physically, emotionally and spiritually challenged. During the course he travelled to different parts of the country, climbed mountains, forged rivers, captured wild animals for relocation, the list goes on. The experience matured him and in one year gave him invaluable life skills. Soon he will complete a deck-hand course and apply to work on super yachts. Oh to be young and adventurous again!

Granddaughter’s Wedding

In June Hubby and I enjoyed a two-week trip to London and a 10-day Mediterranean cruise with two of our daughters. It was idyllic and travelling with our kids was a very pleasurable experience and something we would like to do more often.

Dinner time on the MSC Splendida

Regular readers of my blog will know that for the past 10 years we have been on numerous caravanning holidays. The time has come now for us to sell our beloved Gecko and re-think how we will spend future holidays in game reserves. We could carry on a tad longer but on our last trip in August, I could see that Hubby was really struggling. I feel that he is doing it more for me than for himself and that he would be more comfortable with fresh linen and fluffy white towels. I would rather quit while we’re ahead than have something disastrous happen in the middle of the wilds where little help is available.

Our last trip with the Gecko

The little adjustments we have to make to cope with life as it progresses to different levels is all part of the journey. We will slow down but we will still have adventures and plenty of fun!

Share Your World 16 December 2024

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Here are my answers to this week’s SYW from pensitivity101

1.  Is it your birthday today (or a friend, family member, anyone you know?)
It is not my birthday but it is the birthday of a very close late friend of mine.
In South Africa, it is a public holiday – The Day of Reconciliation.


2.  What’s the worst part about the festive / holiday season for you?
I don’t mind the festive season. The worst part is not being able to find a parking space in our usually quiet town at the tip of Africa. To escape the trebling of the population at this time of year we ‘escape’ to our kids in Plettenberg Bay. Ha! This is also a big holiday destination, but it doesn’t seem as busy because it’s bigger. Parking spaces are at a premium though!


3.  Do your Decembers have a hot, cold, or moderate climate?
We are in the southern hemisphere so December is warm. We’re in shorts and t-shirts and visiting the beach.


4.  Would you like to hibernate when it’s cold?
I don’t think so. Life is too short to sleep it away. Sitting by the fireside with a good book is most enjoyable. It can get very cold and wet where we live but we also get lovely sunny days during the colder months and then it is great to go out for long walks or to visit a nature reserve. We usually spend a few weeks in a game reserve further north where the days are warm and dry but the early mornings are extremely cold! This year, we went to England in June, and it was freezing! However, after two weeks of chilly London, we went on a cruise to thaw out.

Our Cruise Ship, Splendida, in Trieste

Gratitude
I have been dealing with an attack of Diverticulitis for 20 days! I was recovering nicely and then had a relapse when I got to Plettenberg Bay. Finally, after a second round of antibiotics, I am getting better. I love modern medicine! My kids have been awesome putting up with a usually energetic mom/gran. I am so grateful for my amazing family.

Share Your World Monday 2 December 2024

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Here are my answers to this week’s SYW from pensitivity101

1.  What is your favourite Christmas (or traditional) memory?
I have two special memories – one from my childhood and one more recent. As a child, on Christmas Eve, my mother would read ‘The Night Before Christmas’ by Clement C. Moore to us. Afterward, we’d attend midnight mass, and upon returning, we’d enjoy a warm drink and a mince pie, with the special treat of opening one present before bed. My second precious memory was reading ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ by Dr. Seuss to my grandchildren when they were younger.

Grandpa enjoyed the story too,

2.  Do you think merchandise is sold too early for these celebrations?
It is always a surprise to see Christmas stuff in the shops so early in the year but it’s probably a good thing to be prepared. You don’t have to buy if you don’t want to.

The very first Christmas shoppers


3.  Do you decorate your house with ribbons, streamers, tinsel etc?
Certainly, I did when our children were growing up and I hosted Christmas dinners. For many years, we spent Christmas with relatives on the farm, and these gatherings were grand, with tables beautifully decorated. There would always be a kids’ table and an adult table, both festively adorned. Now, that our daughter has moved to Plettenberg Bay we spend the holidays with her. It is a smaller affair with usually just ten of us compared to the twenty or more on the farm, and she decorates splendidly.

The Kids’ table many years ago

4.  What is your least favourite Christmas song?
I don’t particularly have a least favourite. I find pleasure in listening to Christmas songs in the shops during the festive season, and I adore carols.

Gratitude

The grand celebrations of Christmas past have given way to more intimate festivities. Nowadays, we cherish the holidays by spending time together, embarking on enjoyable outings, and enjoying each other’s company. On Christmas morning, we exchange gifts from our Secret Santa, and come lunchtime, we partake in a sumptuous Christmas feast to which everyone contributes. Reflecting on the various ways we’ve spent the holidays over the years fills me with gratitude, especially for having a family that embraces the true spirit of Christmas.

Share Your World – Monday 15 July 2o24

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Here are my answers to this week’s challenge from Di

1.  Do you have a bestie (ie. best friend)
I have four best friends each of whom has had a special effect on my life. I am still in close contact with each of them, although we don’t live in the same town anymore.

My BFF and I have been friends since we were seven years old. We are now seventy-one! We are true soulmates and can almost read each other’s minds. Often she comes to mind and then the phone rings and it’s her and vice versa. We just seem to know when the one needs the other.

The next best friend I met was when I was twenty-one. We are ‘buddies’ and have shared many life experiences together. She is the one I’ll call to meet for shopping and coffee excursions!

Then I have a best friend who is nine years younger than me. We became very close when we taught at the same school and then became close neighbours. She was also my ‘running mate’ and we would run together for many years. My house was her house and her house was my house.

I am very close to my fourth best friend who I met when I was 35 and she was 49. She was my mentor and made a huge impact on my teaching career. She also introduced me to birdwatching.


2.  Do you have a lot of friends?
I don’t think I have a lot but I love the ones I do have. I have a group of friends who I’ve been friends with since my college days and when we lived in Cape Town we met once a month for breakfast. It was a great way to keep in touch and I still go to those breakfasts if I’m in town.

I also have friends who live abroad that I keep up with.

Here in our retirement town, we have made some very good friends and we socialise regularly with them.


3.  Has a friend ever let you down to the extent that the friendship has died?
There is one person who turned out not to be quite as honest as I thought he was. His actions caused me to find out his true nature and that made it impossible to continue being his friend.

I tend to live and let live and consider myself tolerant. We all make mistakes and that’s fine, but when a relationship makes you feel uncomfortable it’s best to let it go. Both parties should just move on.

4.  Are you more likely to confide in a friend rather than family?
It depends on what I need to confide. Generally, my life is an open book. I don’t have many secrets. I would probably tell my BFF before letting my family into what’s troubling me. My family is, however, very supportive so it wouldn’t be long before I let them know what was troubling me.

Gratitude:

I am truly grateful for all my amazing friends. Each one has a special place in my heart. I include my blogging friends in this number too.

My Granddaughter’s Easter Wedding

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My granddaughter, Shannon, and her groom, Jordan, met while on holiday when they were teenagers in Grade 11 and Grade 12 respectively. But there was a problem. He lived in Queenstown in the Eastern Cape and she in Plettenberg Bay in the Western Cape, so they could only see each other during school holidays. But distance did nothing to deter these two from forging a strong and loving relationship. They would move mountains to spend time together while never neglecting their studies. Shan worked on a teaching degree through UNISA while Jordan was apprenticed while studying to become a Millwright. He is now qualified and she has just a few months to go before her final exams. They are now 22 and 23 years old respectively. Young, you might think, but not too young. They both know exactly what they want and are truly committed to each other.

Because the two families are from different towns they decided to get married at The Woods, Humansdorp and all the wedding guests booked accommodation at nearby St Francis Bay.

For us, it was a six-hour road trip but the garden route drive is always beautiful.  We stopped for breakfast in Swellendam and then for a leg stretch at Bon Jour Petro Stop just before Mossel Bay.

We shared our awesome accommodation with our two daughters, Lisa and Lollz and our grandson, Josh. Our sister-in-law, Barbara, from Kokstad joined us too.

Friday morning breakfast on our patio – Fig and Berries.

The weather for the whole weekend was awesome.  The entire weekend was wonderfully organised with something happening each day.

On Thursday evening we had sundowners at the bride’s accommodation and then walked to the restaurant where the entire wedding party had a section of the restaurant to themselves.  

Sundowners – aunts and uncle of the bride – Lisa, Nicoline, Lollz, Sean
Groom’s Family – Ettiene and Charlene (parents) on the left Grandparents on the right
Having fun
Grandparents of the Bride

On Friday we all gathered at Sunset Beach with our glasses and drinks.  Platters of delicious snacks were provided and we socialised and got to know each other while watching the sun go down.  What a perfect evening it was.  Not a breath of wind and no need for jackets or jerseys.

Brother and cousin of the bride – Simon and Josh
The Bride with her Grandfather
Lollz and Shan
Shan and Great-Aunt Barbara
Bridesmaid, Robyn with some friends from St John’s where Shan spent three years before moving to Glenwood
Mother of the Bride and Bridesmaid’s mother – Best of friends who raised their kids together.
Brother (groomsman) and Father of the Bride

Saturday was Wedding Day and the festivities began at 3 pm and lasted well into the night.

The groom’s uncle is a pastor, and he married the happy couple under the canopy of a Bedouin Tent overlooking a beautiful dam.  It was a tad windy and at first, the bride’s veil blew into her face but she cleverly swapped places with the groom, her bridesmaid arranged her train and then all went smoothly.  What a beautiful ceremony, with the gentlest, wisest words on love being given by the pastor. The bride and groom wrote their own vows which were sincere and beautiful and most eloquently expressed to each other.

Paster Goosen having a word with his nephew
Bridesmaids lead the bride in
Father walking the bride down the aisle
Here comes my bride!
A lovely place to be married
Making Vows
The mothers waiting to sign the register

As the happy couple emerged from the tent a bell rang out its joyful noise.   We all showered the couple with natural leaves and the family members gathered for a group photograph.  A drone was involved in this and we all had to look up and say cheese!

While the wedding party was having photographs taken the rest of the guests were treated to snacks and drinks in another Bedouin tent.   This was followed by a dinner in a beautifully decorated venue next door.

Grandparents in their finery

Jeff the MC ensured everything ran smoothly from getting the guests to the right venues in time to introducing each speaker most eloquently.     The Father of the Bride brought tears to our eyes with his excellent speech, the best man and bridesmaid read out messages from absent friends and then both the bride and groom gave heartwarming speeches.  I was so proud of them both but especially my granddaughter. Who knew that she was so good at public speaking!  The groom, too, said that he had not spoken in public since doing English orals at school, yet they both spoke so confidently.

The Dinner Venue
Lauren (mother of the bride) and Bridget (friend)
Master of Ceremonies
Bridal Table
Charlene, Jordan, Shannon, Allan
Jordan giving his speech
Shannon giving her speech
Cutting the Cake

And then the dancing began.  We just loved watching the littlest members of the guests enjoying the music and dancing together.  

The Bride and Groom
Robyn dancing with her dad
You couldn’t get this tot off the dance floor!
The Earl teaching Charlene’s niece to dance
Young cousins of the groom enjoying the dancing
Jenna getting the party going

The weekend ended with breakfast at the Lighthouse at a restaurant called Nevermind! We packed up at Fig and Berries, drove to the venue, enjoyed a delicious brekkie on the veranda, and then said our farewells to the other guests.

The Lighthouse
Breakfast at Nevermind

After breakfast, we made our way to Plettenberg Bay where we spent the night with Lauren and Allan, A few of Shannon’s school friends were also accommodated on mattresses in the family room upstairs.   There were in fact 12 of us altogether.  The girls left very early the following morning but the rest of us left later that morning.

And the Happy Couple?  They flew to an island in Mozambique for a week-long romantic honeymoon!

Share Your World 29 January 2024

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Here is my contribution to this week’s Share Your Word from pensitivity101

1.  Who is your oldest living relative (aunt, grandparent etc)?

I don’t have many relatives older than me. (I am 71) I have a ‘young’ aunt who is 83. She is actually an aunt-in-law having been married to my father’s brother. If you met my aunt you would not believe that she is in her eighties. She still looks fabulous.

2.  How often do you visit them or is distance a factor?

I try to get to see her when I visit my home town which is four to six times a year. But I know that she is not waiting in anticipation for a visit from me!

3. Have any of your family lived to be 100?

I don’t know of any family member who has lived to be 100! My great-grandmother, I think, lived to be 98. My maternal grandparents died in their eighties. My parents died in their seventies. My paternal grandparents died in their fifties and sixties. One of my father’s brothers died in his eighties, the other three were in their seventies. On my mother’s side, one brother died in his eighties the other two siblings in their seventies. All in all, I guess longevity is not in my genes! I have even lost a few of the cousins with whom I grew up. But on the positive side, my siblings are well and don’t look as if they will expire anytime soon!


4.  Would you like to celebrate your 100th birthday?

If I can maintain good health to 100 then yes, I would like to do something special on my hundredth birthday like celebrate in an exotic place like the Serengeti. My oldest grandchild will be 56, his brother 55. My granddaughter will be 50 and her brother 48. I am sure they could organise something! I just hope I can remember their names and that I wrote this post!

Gratitude: 

I am grateful that I can joke about old age. For some, it is not funny!

JusJoJan – Family – 29 January 2024

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What a great word Kim has given us for JusJoJan today. 

My father often explained to me that you could choose your friends but not your family. Even if a family member upsets you, you’re still related, and unless you want to cause a feud you have to deal with the problem. This is of course not easy and in some cases, it is sometimes better to cut ties with a toxic member of your family. Luckily, in my case, I have never had to do that!

You certainly can’t choose the family that you are born into but later in your life, you may have to join another family too. You can choose your spouse but you can’t choose his/her family! Sometimes these relationships can be tricky. Then there might be divorce, and when there is, you might completely cut ties with the inlaws, or you might have formed such a close bond with them that you don’t! 

My husband and I were both married to other people before. He was widowed and I was divorced. I kept in touch with my ex-family and The Earl kept in touch with his late wife’s family and of course I adopted them all, or rather they adopted me! I consider them all as family just as much as I do my own blood family.

The thing about family, is love them or hate them, the bonds are strong! It is very difficult to turn your back on somebody who has the same bloodline as you. Even an estranged brother would not hesitate to donate a kidney to a sibling – unless he was really cold-hearted! 

Family resemblance is another thing that is fascinating. When I first saw a photograph of my brand new great nephew, I said, “You know what – I recognize this child!” I seldom see my great nieces and great nephews but when I do there is an instant connection. I don’t know if they feel it but I certainly do! 

There is something in my side of the family that we must all have in common but I can’t see it. My daughter was identified as part of our family by a complete stranger who had never met her before. ”You look like them,” she was told!

Growing up I had a very close bond with all my first cousins. We drifted apart as adults but were always delighted to see each other at family gatherings – usually weddings or funerals! My siblings and I produced our first children within six months of each other and then their second and third were born close together too. So we were able to raise our kids together and what a close bond those children had with each other. For us as parents it was great to have the support of our siblings too. It certainly brought us closer together.

My dad’s side of the family that my daughter is supposed to resemble. The five of us were particularly close.
L to R Little sister, Me, Big Brother, Cousin L (RIP) Cousin P (RIP)
My father (RIP), my mother (RIP) and BabyBrother – some years laater!
My daughter as a teen when she was recognised as being a member of my father’s family. I think it must be the Greek look.

JusJoJan Mood – 22 January 2024

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Today’s prompt for JusJoJan is mood and it comes from Dar.

A mood is a temporary state of mind or feeling and many factors can affect the mood we are in at any given moment. If one has a healthy Emotional Intelligence, one can recognise and manage one’s moods and also know how to deal with the moods of others.

I taught at a school where we were encouraged to look out for children who had difficulties with their emotions and moods, to consider the causes when dealing with them, and to help them manage their reactions to their moods too. 

Every morning as the children filed into the classroom each greeted the teacher with a show of fingers. Four fingers meant – “I am feeling great.” Three fingers meant – “I am okay.” Two fingers meant – ”I am not so great’ and 1 finger meant – “I am going to cry.”

This system helped the teacher to understand why a child would be distracted or acting up. There was no pressure on the child to say why they were feeling a certain way but they could choose to discuss things with the teacher, ask for a care circle, or ask to see the school counselor. 

We had care circles where the children could share anything with the class – just their news or anything that was bothering them and then their classmates could offer comfort or solutions. Things like – my hamster died, my dad’s gone on a business trip and I miss him. Granny is in hospital. I had a fight with my sister. The sharing really helped and made for a bonded class. A child could ask for a care circle at any time and usually after break, we would have one to settle disputes that occurred during play! Anyone who wanted to speak held a teddy bear and nobody was allowed to interrupt until the teddy was passed to her. The children loved care circle time and many issues were thrashed out during this time and the children usually ended up finding solutions with very little input from the teacher.  

You might think that all this would take time but it was time well-spent. The children knew that they were understood and cared for not only by the teacher but by their peers as well and this reduced bullying to a great degree. 

I found that most of the children would enter the classroom with four fingers and the ever-cheerful ones even went as high as 10! Then there were the melancholics who were always a two and would express something very minor as the cause. I would say something sympathetic and then ask if there was something else at that moment that could make them a three. After a little thinking, the answer would be something like – I’m a three because I‘m at school, or after school I have a playdate with my best friend, or it’s swimming during phy ed today. Often another child would take the sad one in hand and cheer her up.

Mental health at all ages is very important. We should never dismiss moodiness as just a bad personality trait. As we grow older we should also not ignore mood swings. There are many causes including, dementia, menopause, ill health, and poor diet. When one is retired and no longer in a regular routine of work, exercise, and diet, one can let things slip and drink too much, eat too many treats, and even take in too much coffee! All these will affect mood! If we keep busy, eat correctly, and do a little exercise and still have mood swings, we should seek help straight away.

Christmas Share Your World

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Here is my contribution to this week’s special SYW challenge from pensitivity101

Message from Di:-

“Welcome to a special Share your World.

It’s Christmas Day and many readers will be celebrating with friends and family. However, some of my readers don’t celebrate this Christian holiday, so this week, I am Sharing My World and asking you to share your day.“

What will you be eating today?
We are celebrating with our three daughters and two of our grandsons. Everybody contributed to the preparation of our Christmas lunch. We had Gammon, Leg of lamb, roast sweet potato and veggies, tzatziki and for dessert Malva Pudding and custard. It was all delicious.

2. What was your favourite gift?
Soon after arriving to spend the holidays with our kids, we did a challenging hike. My son-in-law was concerned that I was wearing a rather inadequate pair of sneakers. It turned out that he was my Secret Santa and that gave him a great idea – Get Gran some decent hiking shoes! Best gift ever!

3. What is the worst bit, if any, about celebrating (Christmas or otherwise)
We were expecting rain on Christmas day but it did not arrive until today so nothing spoiled the day for us at all.



4. Do your pets get to join in with the fun?
The dog, Lucy, was delighted to receive lots of bones and leftovers. Grandpa shared his biltong with the cat.

Gratitude:
I am so grateful that we can enjoy time with our family not only at Christmas time but often during the year too. I am also grateful that I have had the privilege of watching my grandchildren grow up. 

Share Your World 28 November 2022

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It’s Monday again and so to the Share Your World Challenge from Pensitivity101

Do you have any family traditions?

Our family traditions have changed over the years. When I was a child growing up in the sixties, Christmas was a big thing. We did not receive expensive gifts but it was certainly a magical time. Every year our grandparents took us to the city and to at least three different department stores to visit Father Christmas. At each store, we received a Lucky Dip filled with the junkiest toys ever. Each year our grandparents complained that the toys became nastier than the year before but we adored them – puzzles that fell apart after putting them together just once, tiny plastic dolls whose limbs were off in seconds for the girls and even tinier cars with wheels that broke even faster for the boys. The colouring books with very breakable crayons were the best treat ever. So what if they were binned within the week – we loved those toys while they lasted.

In spite of it being in the middle of summer, we would sit down to a hot Christmas lunch with all the traditional fare – cooked by Granny with helps from Mom and aunts of course. Grandpa would decorate the huge pine tree in the garden with the most colourful and twinkly lights ever. In the evenings the neighbours would come to the gate to stare and exclaim in delight. Nobody else did anything like it in that neighbourhood. We had a very big extended family and so our Christmas gathering was very exciting with lots of inexpensive presents being exchanged and rowdy games played in the garden while the adults napped after over-indulging in lunch!

In our teens, we would go to bed early on Christmas Eve and then wake up at 11 pm to attend Midnight Mass. From 11:30 we would sing all the traditional hymns before Mass began at midnight. When we got home my mother would read, “A Visit from St Nick” by Clement Clarke Moore and we would be allowed to open one gift before going to bed and only rising much later in the morning.

By the time I was thirteen my mother and a cousin would alternate hosting Christmas as it became a bit too much for Granny. We continued to have great fun though.

With December on its way, have you ever been carol singing?

I have not gone carol singing door to door but I have attended carol singing services at schools where I have taught. In fact for a few years, my school, as an end-of-year function, had a sing-along of all kinds of well-known favourites, ending with a few carols, and I was the one to lead the proceedings!

Do you decorate your home for the Christmas holidays?

When our kids were growing up we certainly did. I haven’t done so for quite a number of years. Our daughter now hosts Christmas and she does a tree and decorations etc. This year I will be providing new table decorations.

Do you enjoy the Christmas rush for preparations and shopping?

Not like I did in my youth. Christmas is lovely but now that our grandchildren are grown we do not buy gifts for everybody. We have Secret Santa and buy only one gift for the chosen person. The whole family is together for two to three weeks and our Christmas gift to each other is to do special things as a family. We spend money on one or two special outings and treat each other to a restaurant meal or order in Sushi.

Our friends in the US have just celebrated Thanksgiving.

I think we should follow the example of the Americans and set aside a day to be thankful. If I was sitting around a Thanksgiving Table and had to share what I was thankful for, my list would be very long and the other guests would probably tell me to sit down and be quiet!

I am thankful for my amazing family. I am thankful that they are safe and pray that will never change. I am thankful that my grandchildren still want to spend time with their grandparents even though their friends are more fun. I am thankful for my lovely husband who still wants to have adventures and refuses to sit still and rock in a rocking chair! I am thankful that I live in a cosy, comfortable house in a beautiful part of the world that is still relatively free from crime. I am thankful for amazing friends who I can rely on when I need them. I can go on. Let’s just say that Life is Good and I am so grateful that I can still enjoy it.