Tag Archives: life

Share Your World – Monday 15 July 2o24

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Here are my answers to this week’s challenge from Di

1.  Do you have a bestie (ie. best friend)
I have four best friends each of whom has had a special effect on my life. I am still in close contact with each of them, although we don’t live in the same town anymore.

My BFF and I have been friends since we were seven years old. We are now seventy-one! We are true soulmates and can almost read each other’s minds. Often she comes to mind and then the phone rings and it’s her and vice versa. We just seem to know when the one needs the other.

The next best friend I met was when I was twenty-one. We are ‘buddies’ and have shared many life experiences together. She is the one I’ll call to meet for shopping and coffee excursions!

Then I have a best friend who is nine years younger than me. We became very close when we taught at the same school and then became close neighbours. She was also my ‘running mate’ and we would run together for many years. My house was her house and her house was my house.

I am very close to my fourth best friend who I met when I was 35 and she was 49. She was my mentor and made a huge impact on my teaching career. She also introduced me to birdwatching.


2.  Do you have a lot of friends?
I don’t think I have a lot but I love the ones I do have. I have a group of friends who I’ve been friends with since my college days and when we lived in Cape Town we met once a month for breakfast. It was a great way to keep in touch and I still go to those breakfasts if I’m in town.

I also have friends who live abroad that I keep up with.

Here in our retirement town, we have made some very good friends and we socialise regularly with them.


3.  Has a friend ever let you down to the extent that the friendship has died?
There is one person who turned out not to be quite as honest as I thought he was. His actions caused me to find out his true nature and that made it impossible to continue being his friend.

I tend to live and let live and consider myself tolerant. We all make mistakes and that’s fine, but when a relationship makes you feel uncomfortable it’s best to let it go. Both parties should just move on.

4.  Are you more likely to confide in a friend rather than family?
It depends on what I need to confide. Generally, my life is an open book. I don’t have many secrets. I would probably tell my BFF before letting my family into what’s troubling me. My family is, however, very supportive so it wouldn’t be long before I let them know what was troubling me.

Gratitude:

I am truly grateful for all my amazing friends. Each one has a special place in my heart. I include my blogging friends in this number too.

JusJoJan – Calendar – 30 January 2024

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Here is my contribution to the penultimate prompt of JusJoJan from Linda

The calendar shows today as 30 January 2024 and on this day 37 years ago The Earl and I became a legally married couple after living ‘in sin’ for almost four years. The reason that we did not marry earlier was all to do with the archaic rules of the South African Education departments. A young female teacher at the time we met in 1982 could not be appointed to a permanent position at a government school if she were married. There were other discriminations as well but we won’t go into those here. The point is that it caused many women to ‘live in sin’ so that they could continue earning a living. How silly that rule was and of course, it did change and it is now no longer in place.

When I tell young women about this they are astounded! It is hard for them to believe any kind of logic behind it. But in the days of old, it was not considered ‘right’ for married women to work especially if they had children. It was also the reason that men were paid more as they were considered the main breadwinners and needed the money more than women did!

January is the first month on the calendar and after the festive season and getting over the previous year we are all planning what the 2024 calendar holds in store for us. I print out three months of blank calendars and use magnets to attach them to the refrigerator.  As each month is completed the next month is printed to take its place. 

February is going to be a very busy month. Our calendar is marked from 6 to 11 for caravanning at Ebb and Flow, Wilderness with a group of Gecko Caravanners, That should be fun. Watch this space for a report on that. Straight after that, we have the annual Two Oceans Marlin Tournament which is a week-long affair. I am the official photographer and blogger for that event! We will also be hosting an overseas visitor starting 5 February till 5 May.

The biggest thing on the March calendar is our granddaughter’s wedding on Easter Saturday. We are very much looking forward to that! After that, I will have two sisters-in-law to stay and I will have to put my overseas visitor in the caravan while they’re here!

So the calendar is pretty full for the first few months of the year. April has another fishing competition and then after that who knows what might present itself. From June onwards there is a cruise and an eightieth birthday, but May is looking quiet!

Share Your World 29 January 2024

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Here is my contribution to this week’s Share Your Word from pensitivity101

1.  Who is your oldest living relative (aunt, grandparent etc)?

I don’t have many relatives older than me. (I am 71) I have a ‘young’ aunt who is 83. She is actually an aunt-in-law having been married to my father’s brother. If you met my aunt you would not believe that she is in her eighties. She still looks fabulous.

2.  How often do you visit them or is distance a factor?

I try to get to see her when I visit my home town which is four to six times a year. But I know that she is not waiting in anticipation for a visit from me!

3. Have any of your family lived to be 100?

I don’t know of any family member who has lived to be 100! My great-grandmother, I think, lived to be 98. My maternal grandparents died in their eighties. My parents died in their seventies. My paternal grandparents died in their fifties and sixties. One of my father’s brothers died in his eighties, the other three were in their seventies. On my mother’s side, one brother died in his eighties the other two siblings in their seventies. All in all, I guess longevity is not in my genes! I have even lost a few of the cousins with whom I grew up. But on the positive side, my siblings are well and don’t look as if they will expire anytime soon!


4.  Would you like to celebrate your 100th birthday?

If I can maintain good health to 100 then yes, I would like to do something special on my hundredth birthday like celebrate in an exotic place like the Serengeti. My oldest grandchild will be 56, his brother 55. My granddaughter will be 50 and her brother 48. I am sure they could organise something! I just hope I can remember their names and that I wrote this post!

Gratitude: 

I am grateful that I can joke about old age. For some, it is not funny!

JusJoJan – Family – 29 January 2024

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What a great word Kim has given us for JusJoJan today. 

My father often explained to me that you could choose your friends but not your family. Even if a family member upsets you, you’re still related, and unless you want to cause a feud you have to deal with the problem. This is of course not easy and in some cases, it is sometimes better to cut ties with a toxic member of your family. Luckily, in my case, I have never had to do that!

You certainly can’t choose the family that you are born into but later in your life, you may have to join another family too. You can choose your spouse but you can’t choose his/her family! Sometimes these relationships can be tricky. Then there might be divorce, and when there is, you might completely cut ties with the inlaws, or you might have formed such a close bond with them that you don’t! 

My husband and I were both married to other people before. He was widowed and I was divorced. I kept in touch with my ex-family and The Earl kept in touch with his late wife’s family and of course I adopted them all, or rather they adopted me! I consider them all as family just as much as I do my own blood family.

The thing about family, is love them or hate them, the bonds are strong! It is very difficult to turn your back on somebody who has the same bloodline as you. Even an estranged brother would not hesitate to donate a kidney to a sibling – unless he was really cold-hearted! 

Family resemblance is another thing that is fascinating. When I first saw a photograph of my brand new great nephew, I said, “You know what – I recognize this child!” I seldom see my great nieces and great nephews but when I do there is an instant connection. I don’t know if they feel it but I certainly do! 

There is something in my side of the family that we must all have in common but I can’t see it. My daughter was identified as part of our family by a complete stranger who had never met her before. ”You look like them,” she was told!

Growing up I had a very close bond with all my first cousins. We drifted apart as adults but were always delighted to see each other at family gatherings – usually weddings or funerals! My siblings and I produced our first children within six months of each other and then their second and third were born close together too. So we were able to raise our kids together and what a close bond those children had with each other. For us as parents it was great to have the support of our siblings too. It certainly brought us closer together.

My dad’s side of the family that my daughter is supposed to resemble. The five of us were particularly close.
L to R Little sister, Me, Big Brother, Cousin L (RIP) Cousin P (RIP)
My father (RIP), my mother (RIP) and BabyBrother – some years laater!
My daughter as a teen when she was recognised as being a member of my father’s family. I think it must be the Greek look.

JusJoJan – Pastime Tuesday 9 January 2024

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The prompt word for today’s JusJoJan is ‘Pastime“ and it comes from Di at pensitivity101

A pastime is something you do that is enjoyable and helps to pass the time pleasantly. This I guess is opposed to something we do that is necessary for earning a living, duty, or survival. We actually spend more time doing things we have to do rather than doing something for pleasure but that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy those tasks that are so essential in our everyday lives. 

To live we have to eat and to eat somebody has to cook. Isn’t it strange that when you have to do something you tend to enjoy it less? When it is a chore that simply has to be done we tend to dislike it. Now that the pressure is off, cooking has become more of a pastime than a chore. Admittedly I am lucky enough to have a husband who also enjoys cooking and now that we’re retired we argue about who is going to have the pleasure of cooking the evening meal! 

“Don’t worry, Darling.” I’ll say, ”I’ll cook tonight.” 

“Oh no, you won’t. I’m sure it’s my turn and I really want to try this new recipe!” will come the reply.

Isn’t life tough!

Then on the other hand pastimes that gave pleasure no longer do because of the limitations of old age. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. One remembers enjoying a long hike up a mountain but despite the enthusiasm, keeping up with the younger members of the family is a challenge and not quite as enjoyable as ten years ago! Hubby still thinks he can go out ski-boat fishing, a lifetime passion but although he goes from time to time the recovery time afterward makes it less enjoyable.

The trick, now, is to find a pastime that is enjoyable and does not strain the old body. Or rather to still do those things from the past at a slower pace! 

These days my favourite pastimes are, learning Italian on Duo Lingo, blogging, reading, listening to podcasts, and gentle exercise like walking and yoga. I also like playing word and number games on my phone. Hubby says it’s a total waste of time but I believe such games keep the brain functioning! 

I find that the wonderful thing about being retired is that there is nothing that needs to be done urgently. There is no rush so everything one does whether it is an essential task or a hobby is a pleasure. Things I used to dislike doing when the pressure was on is no longer a hassle. I like cleaning my house. I like pottering in the garden – although I won’t do anything back-breaking – I have a gardener for that. I like going out to do the shopping in an unrushed manner. Thinking back to the days of having a full-time career, running a household, taking care of my husband and kids, and still finding time for socialising, exercise, and hobbies, I wonder how I coped. But of course I did and I loved my life. I certainly love it still and am grateful for those active, busy days but there’s no wish to go back as my relaxed lifestyle now is just as enjoyable.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1.

The above verse is basically saying that everything is temporary and things are constantly changing, so we should therefore, move with the times, adapt and adjust to every situation, live one moment at a time, and choose to be happy doing what needs to be done as well as the chosen, amusing pastimes.

JusJoJan Gratitude Monday 8 January 2024

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Today’s prompt for JusJoJan is Gratitude. Thank you Sadjie for this word.

It is so easy to go through life taking things for granted. It seems that the more fortunate we are the less grateful we are for what we have. I have so often heard people say, “I got to where I am by myself through sheer hard work.” And although this might be true it wouldn’t hurt to show some gratitude for the opportunities that presented themselves or the people who helped make things happen along the way. I don’t believe we can take credit for everything we have achieved or obtained in our lives. Of course, it is important to be self-reliant but I have yet to meet a happy person who has not shown some gratitude to others for helping them along their way.

I also believe it is very important to express gratitude to people who provide services for us. Are we grateful to our employees? Do we thank the petrol jockey for filling up our vehicles and washing our windscreens? Yes, they get paid for it but does it hurt to just say thank you? 

My greatest joy was when my grandson thanked me for the part I played in his life. I did not expect gratitude nor even thought about it but when he expressed it so eloquently in his own words it was better than receiving a diamond ring! 

In my experience showing gratitude to a shop assistant, a cashier, grumpy passport control guy makes all the difference to the service you will receive. While waiting in a queue to check in at a game reserve rest camp, I have seen people with long faces become irritated that they have to wait to be processed. This causes stress to the poor receptionists too. How much better to greet the overworked soul with a “Good Afternoon, Boy am I glad to be here in this beautiful park at last. I’ve looked forward to this all year.” Immediately you will get a smile back and cheerful service as they process you. The trick is to think of the other person first. What kind of day is he/she having. Of course, they should leave their problems at home but we’re all human. Let’s be kind to each other, treat each other with tolerance and thank those who serve us with a smile and friendly word. 

Gratitude is good for your health and your soul.

Share Your World Monday 8 January 2024

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Here are my answers to this week’s questions from pensitivity101

1.  When you look out of your kitchen window, what do you see?

I don’t have a great view outside my kitchen window. It looks onto the side yard where the washline is. There is also a great big Cape Gooseberry bush that just appeared one day. I did not plant it so it must have come from a pip. It’s really in the wrong place as it is right next to the side door of the garage. I pulled it out and tried to get it to grow in the vegetable patch – but it didn’t. However, another one sprang up in its place – perhaps it migrated back from the veggie patch (LOL) Anyway, I’ve just left it and kept it trimmed. It grows really quickly and bears lots of berries so I shouldn’t complain!

You can see the caravan in the garage, the gas cupboard on the left, the Cape Gooseberry Bush which needs a trim and the retractible washline, 


2.  When was the last time you used public transport?

Ha! Good question! Public transport where I live is non-existent. The last time I used public transport was in London. I am over 60 but not a British citizen and yet I had an amazing experience. I didn’t realize that my travel card (Oyster Card, I think it’s called) had run out of funds. I hopped on a bus and swiped it only to be informed by the driver that it was empty. So I started digging in my purse to pay but he said, “Don’t worry – just take a seat.” I’m sure it was because of my age as local oldies travel free on the busses.
3.  Do you prefer cut flowers or a potted plant?

Cut flowers are indeed lovely but I seldom have them in my home. I don’t have many potted plants either as we are away so often and they need attention. Despite neglect, they have survived!

Vetplante thrive on neglect
I’m afraid this one did not do well while we were away – it needs a block of ice once a week which my tenants gave it but perhaps it needed a bit more?


4.   Do you believe in Karma?

The way I understand Karma is that it is the epitome of cause and effect so it sounds so smug to say, “Yes, I believe in Karma.” It’s as if people who exude goodness will have goodness visited upon them while those who don’t have awful things happen to them and that is not always true is it? And yet so often I see kindness is rewarded with kindness and those with positive attitudes tend to have happier lives. I do believe that Karma will ensure that evil people will get their just deserts in the end and that even if someone seems blameless and experiences bad luck it doesn’t mean things won’t eventually turn out well. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad. It’s not really for us to judge.


Gratitude:

I am grateful to be back home safely after travelling on the roads during the silliest of seasons. Good Karma? 
I am also grateful for my amazing children who ensured we all had a relaxed and enjoyable holiday together. Three generations together isn’t always easy but we have had so much practice that I think we’ve got it right :-) 

I know things are going to change now that the grandkids are all grown up but we have been so privileged to have had such a close relationship with them all these years that we can cope with whatever happens from here on. I believe that the future years still hold much joy for us all.