What a great word Kim has given us for JusJoJan today. 

My father often explained to me that you could choose your friends but not your family. Even if a family member upsets you, you’re still related, and unless you want to cause a feud you have to deal with the problem. This is of course not easy and in some cases, it is sometimes better to cut ties with a toxic member of your family. Luckily, in my case, I have never had to do that!

You certainly can’t choose the family that you are born into but later in your life, you may have to join another family too. You can choose your spouse but you can’t choose his/her family! Sometimes these relationships can be tricky. Then there might be divorce, and when there is, you might completely cut ties with the inlaws, or you might have formed such a close bond with them that you don’t! 

My husband and I were both married to other people before. He was widowed and I was divorced. I kept in touch with my ex-family and The Earl kept in touch with his late wife’s family and of course I adopted them all, or rather they adopted me! I consider them all as family just as much as I do my own blood family.

The thing about family, is love them or hate them, the bonds are strong! It is very difficult to turn your back on somebody who has the same bloodline as you. Even an estranged brother would not hesitate to donate a kidney to a sibling – unless he was really cold-hearted! 

Family resemblance is another thing that is fascinating. When I first saw a photograph of my brand new great nephew, I said, “You know what – I recognize this child!” I seldom see my great nieces and great nephews but when I do there is an instant connection. I don’t know if they feel it but I certainly do! 

There is something in my side of the family that we must all have in common but I can’t see it. My daughter was identified as part of our family by a complete stranger who had never met her before. ”You look like them,” she was told!

Growing up I had a very close bond with all my first cousins. We drifted apart as adults but were always delighted to see each other at family gatherings – usually weddings or funerals! My siblings and I produced our first children within six months of each other and then their second and third were born close together too. So we were able to raise our kids together and what a close bond those children had with each other. For us as parents it was great to have the support of our siblings too. It certainly brought us closer together.